Good morning!
It has been quite some time since this blog has been touched, but most definitely NOT neglected.
For a period of time there has been an overwhelming wave of what most writer’s would call a “writer’s block”, though that may be the common term, upon reflection on my own year, I believe what has truly been encountered is : transformation.
When I started this project, I knew I had visions for its purpose (still do).
My main goal was to encourage and support those taking minor accumulative steps towards bettering themselves in order to fulfill their own true purpose and feel authentic satisfaction within their lives. (sounds hella ambitious doesn’t it, lol)
However, I realised that being so invested in this project diverted my attention away from my own purposeful visions for myself and recognised a huge shift in my energy. I have (and I’m sure will continue to) struggled and battled with a mental wall filled with unnecessary self-doubt, ego and insecurity. These arose not due to watching others succeed, but by belittling my own needs to thrive for what I want in my own life.
Let me break that down to what appears to be the biggest lesson of 2022.
Throughout my life, I struggled with my identity, figuring out who I am, what I want to be, what I want to do, who I want to be around, etc. Others are quite fortunate to have a very strong sense of self….as though I thought. I allowed my ego to believe that by immersing myself into this project that “YAY I FOUND WHO I AM, THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO BE, THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO DO, THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO BE AROUND!!!!!” …… This thinking led me to my own consequence of narrowing opportunities around me and constricting what use to be an open mind into a downwards spiral.
In simple terms, I had merged my sense of identity into this project.
That’s what we’re meant to do right? Find purpose in what we set ourselves out to do? This is good for us? This is healthy we are diving into something more meaningful, something that will create a future for us?
OH my damn, I was wrong.
The point I am bringing here is projects or careers are not or shouldn’t be your sense of identity. Tying yourself into these restraints allows for a variety of variables to take over your life, creating many highs and lows interchanging your own energy and perspective.
Your identity is the practice of your actions such as, kindness, respect, resilience, honesty, integrity… and the list goes on.
But our path to greatness, isn’t paved by WHAT we set out to do, it is merely expressed by WHO we are and HOW we choose to want to be.
For 2023, find value in your actions and most of all in yourself.
That is the key to genuine satisfaction and fulfillment.
Happy New Year!
-AYA
As You Are 